Sleep Update

Okay, so the solution to our sleep troubles didn't turn out to be quite as tidy as you may have been led to believe after this post.

For about a week after trying The No Cry Sleep Solution (TNCSS for short), things were lovely.

And then Jack started cutting his first tooth and it was like we were almost back to square one.

Almost, but not quite. (but enough that I was feeling pretty foolish for prematurely singing the praises of TNCSS)

Not knowing what else to do, we stuck with it. One month later, I feel like we're ready to give an accurate, experienced account of the method, and to share a few things we learned along the way.

#1: There is no such thing as a quick and easy fix to infant sleep problems. I knew this deep down, but I wanted good sleep ASAP. Oh, how I wanted it. I found myself getting frustrated when we didn't find instant perfection-- a tendency that I'm prone to. Anyhow, the point is that no matter what you do to help your baby sleep better, consistency and persistence and time are all necessary for any lasting improvement.

(By the way, we still haven't found sleep perfection, instant or otherwise, but our improvement has been good and we'll be plenty happy with that.)

#2: There is tired, and then there's too tired. It seems logical: if your baby is a little tired now, he'll go to sleep easier if you wait until he's really good and exhausted.

Not so.

We've found that the more tired Jack is, the harder it is to get him to sleep. Our issue when he gets "too tired" is that he falls asleep nursing, or in our arms, and then gets upset when we try to lay him down in the crib and we get stuck in a long, frustrating cycle: calm baby, lay baby down, baby cries, calm baby, lay baby down, baby cries, etc...

If I can catch him when he's first sleepy (typically when he first shows signs of fussiness), he'll nurse and cuddle into a sweet state of drowsiness, but stay awake long enough to be put down in the crib happily and then fall asleep on his own.

The magic time for him seems to be 1 1/2 to 2 hours after he last woke up. That was hard for me to wrap my head around at first. "Really? It's 8:30am and you're ready for a nap?!"

#3: Routine, Routine, Routine. We were really good at this with baby #1. Our lives were ruled by his tiny needs and we had elaborate routines for everything. A feeding routine, a diaper changing routine, a bath time routine, a going-for-a-drive-in-the-car routine, and especially a sleep routine. (btw, we've learned since then that simpler is usually better, as far as routines go)

Life for baby #3 is different. When I stopped to think about it, I realized that there was little predictability in Jack's day. When he'd get really fussy, I'd feed him wherever we happened to be in the house and then try to put him in his crib. Sometimes I'd sing, sometimes I'd walk and bounce him. Sometimes diaper change came before I fed him, sometimes after...

Anyways, I've gotten my act together and I really think it's helped. Our new routine looks like this:

At the first sign of fussiness, we head to Jack's room where he gets a fresh diaper. After that, we sit in the rocking chair and read a short story and then nurse until he's drowsy, at which point we close the blinds and turn on his fan and his noise machine. Then it's time to stand by the crib and snuggle for a bit (he'll usually let us know when he's done cuddling by giving a big sigh). After that I say "Sweet dreams", lay him down, cover him with his blanket and walk out.

Sometimes he'll cry and I'll have to go back in and start from the nursing part of the routine again, but these days it's once at the very most, usually not at all.

I mentioned in the comment section of my first sleep post that we tried to divorce nursing from Jack's sleep routine. Turns out that just wasn't realistic. What has ended up being more helpful for us was including nursing as part of the sleepy routine, but following TNCSS's suggestion for removing a baby from the breast when he is sleepy but still awake (that initially seemed like an impossibility).

The idea is to carefully watch your baby's sucking pattern. In the beginning, a baby will suck quickly and vigorously, but as he gets full (and sleepy), you'll notice longer pauses between sucks and sometimes even a fluttery suck or two. At that point, say something like, "bye bye milk", gently insert your finger into the corner of baby's mouth to break the suction, and then move him up to your shoulder.

Initially, almost all babies will protest this. If yours does, just latch him back on and try again when you notice his sucking pattern slow. Keep repeating until baby is okay with being "unlatched".

We're to the point now (after a month of this, mind you) that Jack will usually voluntarily let go when I say "bye bye milk". You should know that he initially was not a fan of being pulled off the breast before he fell asleep.

Whew! The short and sweet of it all is that I do very much recommend The No-Cry Sleep Solution, but with one caution: sleep training is not for the faint of heart.